ATTORNEY:   Are you sexually active?
WITNESS:      No, I just lie there.
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ATTORNEY:  What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS:      Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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ATTORNEY:   This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS:        Yes.
ATTORNEY:   And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS:       I forget.
ATTORNEY:   You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
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ATTORNEY:  What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS:    He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY:  And why did that upset you?
WITNESS:    My name is Susan!
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ATTORNEY:   Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS:     We both do.
ATTORNEY:  Voodoo?
WITNESS:     We do.
ATTORNEY:  You do?
WITNESS:     Yes, voodoo.
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ATTORNEY:  Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his  sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS:    Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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ATTORNEY:  The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS:      Uh, he's twenty-one.
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ATTORNEY:  Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS:     Are you shitt'in me?
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ATTORNEY:    She had three children, right?
WITNESS:      Yes.
ATTORNEY:    How many were boys?
WITNESS:      None.
ATTORNEY:    Were there any girls?
WITNESS:     Are you kidding? Your Honour, I think I need a different  attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
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ATTORNEY:   How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS:     By death.
ATTORNEY:   And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS:  Now, whose death do you suppose terminated it?
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ATTORNEY:  Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS:     He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY:  Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS:  Guess.
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ATTORNEY:   Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a  deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS:     No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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ATTORNEY:   Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS:      All my autopsies are performed on dead people.  Would you like to rephrase that?
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ATTORNEY:   ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?  What school did you go to?
WITNESS:      Oral.
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ATTORNEY:  Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS:      The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY:  And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS:      No, he was sitting on the table,  wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
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ATTORNEY:   Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS:  Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
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ATTORNEY:   Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS:      No.
ATTORNEY:   Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS:      No.
ATTORNEY:   Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS:      No.
ATTORNEY:  So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you Began the autopsy?
WITNESS:      No.
ATTORNEY:  How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS:     Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY:  I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS:    Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law.